Stop Trying to Do It All: A Simple Framework for Saying No and Protecting Your Focus

HR is often the “everything department.” Need a recruiter? HR. Need an event planned? HR. Need a shoulder to cry on? HR.

And because we CAN do a little of everything, people assume we SHOULD. 

But the reality is that every time you say yes to something outside your lane, you’re saying no to focus, strategy, and your own sanity.

Why HR Struggles With Saying No

HR professionals are wired to help. 

We want to support people. We want to solve problems. We want to be the glue.

But the problem is this: “helpful” quickly becomes “overloaded.” And overloaded HR isn’t strategic HR.

What starts as a “quick favor” can quickly spiral into a pile of work that doesn’t move the business forward. You’re exhausted, resentful, and still behind on the things that really matter.

The Filter Framework: Your New Decision-Making Tool

Here’s a simple way to decide what deserves your yes and what requires a no (or redirect). Before you commit, run the request through this filter:

1. Is it aligned?
   Does this request align with my role, my priorities, our OKRs in HR, or our organizational goals?  What are the pros/cons for this request, and what is the impact to employees and leaders?
   

2. Is it urgent for me - or just urgent for them?
   Not every fire is your fire.  Is this an opportunity to clearly define the scope and negotiate more time for execution and delivery, or maybe identifying who else might be able to help?
   

3. Is it sustainable?
   If I take this on, will it keep draining me week after week? Or is it a one-off project? What are the implications of me supporting this request?

If the request doesn’t pass the filter, it’s a no, not now, or a redirection to someone who can help. That’s not selfish. That’s leadership.

The Ripple Effect of Saying No

When HR learns to say no or not now:

• Work becomes more strategic.

• You free up capacity for the projects that truly matter.

• You show others what boundaries look like and give them permission to set their own.

And here’s the unexpected part: saying no actually increases trust. 

People respect clarity, even if they don’t like the answer. Saying not now, and providing a timeline or clear expectations, lets people know you want to help and you are being realistic about the timeframe that it will require. 

The Bottom Line

Saying no doesn’t make you less valuable - it makes you more effective. 

Your worth is not in being the catch-all. It’s in being clear about where you bring the most impact.

Boundaries aren’t a rejection. They’re a redirection to focus on what matters most.